Men Hurt Too

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Next to me is a cup of coffee that will always bring comfort to me, especially in these cold times but also in times my mind is restless. It’s currently snowing outside and I stayed home instead of going to college so I thought I’ll sit down and share a letter I wrote with you guys.

It’s all a bit messy but I kind of want certain people to read this so here.

To the boys, to the Men, to the hurt out there, whose experiencing (their first) heart break,

This is no quiet affair my dear one. It will tear you apart and make you feel like there is no tomorrow. It’s refreshing really because till now I’ve only experienced women coming to talk to me about heartbreak and I won’t deny that I was taken a back at first. It just suddenly hit me how men can feel such deeply too. I mean I knew that but I had never seen it before so I guess I didn’t really think about it, it was just a passing thought. I had come to the conclusion that men weren’t capable of feeling due to my bad experiences. Due to the few bad ones out there I had lost my faith in men. Then I started to think about how stupid I was for hating on all men just because of the few that had hurt me. I should never have generalised like that. So I want to say thank you, to you before I continue for restoring my faith in men. (you know who you are, that is if you ever read this because you’re not a fan of reading)

 They say that your first love is always your hardest and I completely agree. Why? Because when it is your first you have never been broken before so you give it your all. You share your deepest thoughts and your future plans with them thinking that this is the one, when in most cases this is the one in many to come. It is life. People come and go, you are your only constant. Honestly take each fall as a learning. I find that every heartbreak in some twisted way is planned because they reveal different layers of you. They show you how much you can love and how much you can fall. And as time goes on you grow with it. The pain will help you grow. 

Your heart breaks so new light can get in, making you so desperate and out of control that you have to change your life. And you do.

I know most guys don’t really like to think too deep into things such as feelings and most of you will think this is cringe on another level. But I will say all these things anyway because they are true and I know you will feel it from the way a guy (you) talked to me. Just so you know showing your feelings doesn’t make you any less of a man, it lets us know your human and shows us that you are capable of loving so much to the point it hurts.
 Some things aren’t meant to be you know. Not all things will last. People will come into your life and make it blissful for a while. They will make the days worth getting up for. And soon she will become a part of you in a way; your last thought at night and first thought in the morning. And you will both be happy for a while. But not everyone is to stay. Think of all the people that have entered in your life and left, now just a bittersweet memory. But we still have to keep on going. Just because a relationship ends doesn’t mean your life does. Thank her for what she gave you, for all the late night chats, the miss you messages, the teasing, for the happiness, even if it was temporary.

Unrequited love sucks, I know, but you deserve someone who gives as much as you do. Hence staying with her isn’t going to make you happy again. It won’t be the same, who knows maybe this parting now is God giving you both time to grow on your own so that in the future you two will find each other again. That doesn’t mean you should hold onto that hope, live your life. Take time off from her till you are able to look her in the eye and not feel anything.

Most importantly though, surround yourself with friends or hobbies that keep you happy for the time being. Honestly just be happy and I know it’s easier said than done but try, persevere and in your journey of letting go remember that it’s okay to fall occasionally as long as you get yourself back up.

written with love,

Broni x

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P.S this is a generalised version of a personal letter that I wrote to someone who I’ve now some how became close with, so I’m sorry if some of this makes no sense.

P.SS If this so called storm is going to hit I hope you all stay warm and indoors 🙂

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