WARNING; THIS MAY TRIGGER. I AM NOT TRYING TO PROMOTE OR PROVOKE SUICIDE. I’M JUST PUTTING SOME FACTS OUT THERE.
So this is such a hard topic to open up about for me but I feel like it’s necessary. In all honesty I am sick and tired of hearing the phrase “suicide is selfish” when it really isn’t. People who say this clearly haven’t been there before.
Selfish huh? How the heck is it selfish? Tell me what’s more selfish, someone taking their own life or someone faking a happy life JUST for the benefit of others. Suicide isn’t selfish and it usually never is a spur of the moment thing people take days, months thinking about it postponing it for their loved ones. They have just got to the point where they feel so alone, trapped and suicide seems like the only remedy for their pain so DON’T YOU DARE sit there and say suicide is selfish because it’s not. You may sit there and think people only think of themselves when doing it NO. They think about every single person they think that would care and feel even more sorry for themselves for being this way. You just don’t know how much emotional pain they are going through.
We had a class debate in R.E once about euthanasia and suicide and I had to sit there in a class for half an hour constantly hearing the words suicide is selfish, people who do attempt is weak etc. What they and people don’t understand is that when someone who is suicidal hears this it just pushes them closer. No one knew how much it hurt to hear those words. My whole mind just went on alert, my heart was going just because I wanted to scream at them and be like NO it’s not.
You say it’s selfish because the suicidal person isn’t thinking about others right? But isn’t that selfish of you? You don’t know the pain they go through every day, what goes on deep down. Maybe they feel as if it’s their only way out. All I’m saying is to think of them not yourself. I think it’s more selfish to consider how someones suicide makes you feel whilst ignoring the actual reasons of the person.
People who do say suicide is selfish do mention the survivors. “look where they were and look where they are now. They have a job, kids, a family etc” They say it’s selfish to leave behind your parents, friends, siblings. What you don’t understand is that these loved ones are the reasons they hang on for one more day, to the very last moment they think about them. But the depression is what makes them think otherwise, what makes them feel as if it’s the only way out. And until you have been there, until you have lost yourself in a sea of darkness they call depression. You don’t get to make these judgements. You may not understand it but spreading those negative comments won’t help. So next time someone tells you that they attempted or are feeling suicidal please just, please do not have a go at them saying how selfish it is. It really doesn’t make them feel any better.
I know someone who did commit suicide, a very close friend of mine a while back. And damn did it hurt. It took me a while to accept he was actually gone and to be okay with it. I spent nights crying, wishing he would have opened up to someone but not for a second did I consider him being “selfish.” He was just lost and alone and all he needed was a helping hand but I knew nothing about it. I hated myself for a while for not noticing the signs but back then I knew nothing about depression or any mental illnesses. I prayed for him everyday, that his soul would find peace and I really do hope it did. Sometimes I look up at the stars at night and I feel like he’s up there watching over me.
I myself am still here because of a few people who didn’t have a go at me when I told them how I felt, instead when I told them they wouldn’t understand they said “I am trying.” Those words are just so reassuring to hear, trust me.
“Just never underestimate how much pain someone has to go through to put a blade to their wrist, a finger to their throat, a gun to their head and a pen to “that” note.”
P.S I really hate talking about suicide and I actually shed a few tears while writing this but I really just wanted to tell people to stop calling suicide selfish. Suicide is a lot of things but selfish isn’t one of them.
Next update will be filled with God and how I survived because of him second time round. It will also be filled with many reasons why you should hold on. x
P.SS NO. I am not trying to agree saying that it’s okay to commit suicide or trying to say that people who do feel suicidal should, DEFINITE NO! I am just saying that I wish people would look behind the suicide into the actual reasons of it and stop calling it selfish. When people say they do it for attention, look behind that. Why are they doing that? Are they not getting the attention back home? etc