Who am I?

figureMarhaban bial’asdiqa’

Who am I? Who are you?

This is probably the most difficult question I have asked myself or you probably have heard someone ask you. The question that’s been bothering me for the past year and perhaps you. Maybe this is new to you or maybe you have always been curious about this question I don’t know, but I’m giving you my insight on it.

Whenever someone asked me who are you, I would avoid it completely and say, I am who I am, just because I honestly had no clue. I tried finding myself, I really did. I was tired of being such a fake. I was sick and tired of being fake to people and most importantly myself. I was lost, I got stuck in such a dark place. It really brought me down. I just wanted to find out who I was. I wanted to know what I wanted in life. I just wanted to be so sure about myself.

for-uEver since Kintbury I told my chaplain about how I just don’t know who I am he has been trying to help me figure myself out and he made me do this worksheet. He printed of an image similar to this and made me fill the body with stuff about me good and bad. I had to fill it in with relationships with friends and family, hobbies, activities, music, school, clubs basically just everything.

I doodled, I wrote and I cried because it was so hard. It really helped me find out my weaknesses and areas where I needed to work on. But also showed me my strengths. I want you guys to have a try. Just sit down print of this image or a template of a body and fill it with who you are. But you must be 100% honest with yourselves, don’t write what is on your agenda or what you feel like you should be, no. Just write what you are, as you are. I know it’s hard if you don’t know who you are just yet but just try, I promise it will help even the tiniest bit.

 But guys let me tell you something I realised on Tuesday. I believe that no one can ever fully comprehend who they are, it just isn’t possible. You can never find out for certain every part of you and be so sure of yourself. You simply just can’t as an ordinary human.

I mean you can learn so many new things about yourself. Like the fact that lemonade makes me hyper or that I like cheesecake or how I hate maths. But the truth is you can never ever know everything about yourself. You may be able to grasp certain aspects of your life and be like yes ok this is who I am but other than that I don’t think so.

Take a look at American psychologist Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs 

Maslow decided to capture different levels of human motivation, hence he came up with this idea. It represents the idea that human beings are propelled into action by different motivating factors at different times; biological drives, psychological needs. The hierarchy doesn’t mean that the higher you are, the “better” person you are, no. It shows that if you’re lacking on one of the bottom levels, you can not get to anything higher than that one. The highest level is Self Transcendence (ST). This is a place only the elite get to, I’m talking people like Gandhi, Mother Teresa and Buddha.It is the desire to go beyond our ordinary human level of consciousness and experience oneness with the greater,whole,higher truth, whatever that may be. It is when you know everything about yourself but you just don’t care enough to ask. They just don’t even have to ask themselves the question because they have so much joy within them. They choose to live for the happiness of others. They put others first. Now that would be such an amazing place to be.

So yes I want to keep finding parts of myself everyday but from here on I am going to stop torturing myself with the question who am I. I want to get to the level of self actualization; it is when you are confident in who you are even though you are not 100% sure on who you are. I just want to get to the point in which I am comfortable in my own skin. I think that’s where you should aim to be too. But for now to just simply be and to not let opportunities be missed. I want you to love life but learn as you go. Sitting there not living in the now, thinking I don’t know myself won’t help you if you aren’t out there finding yourself.

with love

sprinklesofkindness x

P.S.  Yes, I greeted you lot with Arabic, I have been teaching myself little bits every now and again.(It says hello friends)

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