Albert Einstein once said that
Once we accept our limits we go beyond them
And at Kintbury I realised what that actually meant to me. Kintbury was a four day retreat, from our school, with our Chaplain. Only like 12 people went which was pretty great as that meant we had a closer bond; though originally there was meant to be another school coming as well. We were all girls and all from different friendship groups but this trip kind of made us all come together.
It really was an eye opening experience, making you think about everything. It brought back a lot of memories, putting some people on an emotional roller coaster ride. The last night during night prayer I even ran out the room crying because I was so down already and had been all day. But I was trying to be happy for everyone else and because I HATE crying in front of people. But I had a long chat with a friend that night and it really did make me feel better.
Anyway what I wanted to talk about was the fact that at Kintbury I felt more myself than I had ever been. As if I didn’t have to be someone I wasn’t, even though I pretended like my usual happy self. I felt accepted, I felt loved, I felt beautiful thanks to Joe, Charlie and Mary-Ellen oh and Robert :’) We had this talk on self worth and at the end we got given bracelets with the word beautiful on them which I wouldn’t accept or wear so Robert came up to me and started singing 1D’s that’s what makes you beautiful, bless him. I came to realise that everyone is beautiful, I mean I would always say that about other people but not myself. I’m actually vile to myself. Then Charlie realised that and she found me a quote on the last day it actually made me shed a tear at how sweet she was to me the whole trip.
Next time you think of beautiful things, don’t forget to count yourself in.
I want everyone to think about that quote. To realise that if you don’t accept the fact this is who you are then no one ever will. If you don’t see your own self worth there will be no way whats so ever that anyone else will. I have decided to sort this all out. To learn to love myself as I am but before that I need to find who I am. Kintbury has taught me that I am the one limiting myself.
The best thing about it all was that I was comfortable around everyone that worked there. They were what made the whole thing special, the bonds created, the memories to keep. Like I felt like I found my soul mate there *laughs with tears* I dunno why but me and Mary-Ellen really did just click, straight from our walk together and when we realised that she was best friends with
my (4th/5th) cousin. We both really did just get the giggles around each other. Like each person really brought something to the table. I ought to mention Tom, my A class banter buddy :’) I dunno how but I felt like Tom understood me, he was my prayer partner. I felt as if he knew stuff about me that I didn’t, it was so weird but I loved our breakfast/ lunch/ dinner talks together with Robert.
This quote is the one that Tom kept reminding me about, he even wrote it in our little memory book. And it really did get to me like how the heck do I turn on the light :’)
I cried leaving them behind. It pretty much pains, not in a bad way though, to listen to riptide by Vance Joy since that was our “trip song” as a group we played/ sang to it all the time. It just will all be in my memories forever lets say. I hope to go down again in July for Yes Week, depending on if my parents let me or not.